It’s been quite a few years,since my first experience,of unfair and bias treatment…..talking about my miserable childhood and unfair upbringing….
In our younger years,we were forced to respect adults and the elderly and had no right,to queryany of the grown-up family or their friends…..which made it very difficult for us children,to complain to a parent,or other close family members,or family friends….maybe you felt like you could trust this person,as it is a “family “trusted person after all…it could also be your downfall,like in my case…..I really thought,I could trust the people,presenting themselves as my parents’ friends and that promised,to have us children’s well-being at heart….
You can’t believe,how flat I fell on my face, as I had one the worst experiences,a child could ever have……especially a girl and it happened to me…..
I don’t really want to go back in time,to relive my unhappy childhood live,but by best of times,I have to…maybe because it played such a big part in my life…..maybe I have to tell you about it,to help me heal from the inside out….body,mind and soul…..
Maybe it was because of our financial and social disadvantage……I wasn’t one of those above normal beautiful babies,or one of those lucky blue eyed blond little girls,that was everybody’s favorite little girl….Maybe our house drew these potential child abusers,because my parents never believed any of their friends,or the friends and family of these friends,will ever dare to try something like that…..especially in our house….My sister already moved out and as always,this part of my memories of my brother,is vague or non-existent ….
Well then it happened …a friend invited one of thèir family friends,to one of the weekend parties,my parents had at our house.It was a Saturday night,as usual and the party was in full blast.The volume of the music,was as high as the volume would allow,back then…..it still was very loud though….
All the adults were in the family(then better known as sitting rooms in South Africa)room,across the hallway,from my bedroom.Mother decided,at some stage,that it was time for me to go to bed….She closed the bedroom door behind her and I drifted off……I woke up,with someone next to me in bed…the bedroom door still closed….I am use to nightly visitors,but not the human kind…This was quite real…he told me not to worry,he only wants to lie down a bit….well,as it it one of the family friends,I had no reason not to believe him…..I dozed of again and woke,with his hand down my pajama pants.I tried to stop him,but he insisted that I should let him touch me,that it will be nice….I wasn’t comfortable with it,but didn’t want to make a scene and because of previous experiences,I couldn’t trust to tell my mother,as she just give me a hiding….again,like when something similar,happened to me before,when I was only in Grade one or two…..it was my “imagination and dirty mind” …….I told him that I will call my father and luckily for me,most people were quite afraid,of my father’s short temper and no nonsense attitude….He got up and slipped out.I couldn’t go to sleep,for the whole duration of the party and after I was sure,he left with the rest of the guests.
Like so many of these true life stories,that really happened in my life,nobody else,but the people reading this,are aware of what I went through,as a little ugly duckling.
The reason I wanted to share this story with you…?
Please go in,on your children’s complaints, about something like this.It doesn’t mean there is something behind it,but if you don’t investigate,you’ll never know….if you have a fibbing child,or a child who likes to make up stories,or has a creative imagination,it doesn’t mean that it’s a lie…..if only my mother looked into it…..and if only my brother’s daughter didn’t try and do it,to try and get some money out of the family……
Don’t always see the bad in your children,never mind how bleak his/her past actions were,but also keep in mind,that your child may be trying to get back at someone,or trying to punish a potential love,that won’t give into any intentions,or won’t give in to one-sided proposals.I never tried to deceive my parents and did my best,to do everything,just as my mother expected of me,but it was worth nothing to her……On the other hand,my brother’s daughter,nearly wrecked a perfect family life,through her greediness and untruthful intentions…….that said…my mother refused to listen to my complaints,numerous times and that changed the outcome of my life drastically…….I love my husband and I adore my children and grandchildren,but maybe I could’ve had it all,much earlier in my life…..
Be sure to not miss my posts to follow….some will be regarding my religious beliefs and orientation,my road to get where I am and my thoughts on it,as just a normal woman,with everyday struggles and questions.
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